That Elusive Mean

Any chance of getting myself somewhere in the cheery middle between the extremes that are being full of one’s self and being entirely unhappy with one’s self? (Strangely and fittingly enough, the two extremes are often one for me…)

As my piano teacher used to say before solo/ensemble days: “Abby, just remember, someone will play better than you, and someone will play worse than you.” Helpful perspective. But that doesn’t cut it at the end of the day.

I’ve wondered about this before. I don’t think I was wrong then.

Neither do I think I was particularly helpful, then.

So I’m still wondering about it.

And I’ll leave my wonderings with a photo that (I think) sums up nicely the sort of mean I have in mind. Taken by my junior dean in Bath. I look happy. Not especially beautiful. But content to be as I am, taking photos of the Roman baths and my classmates and listening to my audio guide in between times.

So that mean: contentment, happiness, cheerfulness. No self-despising and no self-aggrandizing. Visual below.






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