Seasons of Studenthood

I’ve been musing on my blog ‘focus’  – you know, wordpress tells me that this is a good thing to have, it’ll attract readers, lah dee dah….

But I need focus, even if this blog serves as an online processing exercise. Certainly I need focus to avoid this blog’s becoming an online venting spot.

I’d love to write about sustainability, or faith and reason, or beauty, or some other thing I’m passionate about. I’d love to just post photos with comments, for goodness sakes!

But I’m quickly realizing that none of these things really falls under the umbrella of my current vocation.

I can’t write beautiful little posts about all the squash I’m harvesting and how I’m turning the said squash into squash soup and squash bars and other such delicious items. I can’t post photos about the beautiful green of my many batches of recently frozen pesto. I can hardly share my favorite bread recipes.

To my consternation, I live in a dorm room and eat two meals a day from the cafeteria. Those things will have to wait for later.

This pattern keeps going. Crafts? I love ’em… but there’s no money for craft supplies and no time to blog cute little tutorials.

Something deep? Hrm. I’m an undergrad. I’m in the process of figuring out all those things that I think. And honestly, after writing how many papers and taking how many tests, do I really want this to be a “serious” intellectual exercise?

But all these things that are keeping me back from sharing about my “real” loves (it’s debatable, whether or not they are) – they’re aspects of studenthood.

Which I also love.

I love things making sense.

I love engaging lectures.

I love being stretched.

I love professors.

I love research, and especially libraries.

I love knowing that it’s a part of my vocation.

I love collaboration.

I love vibrant intellectual climates.

I love the wit of wisdom.

I love helping other students.

I love finishing a book.

I love mapping out and analyzing arguments.

I also wish it were less hard.

I wish I could master it more quickly.:

I wish it didn’t come with (some) bad grades.   : )

I wish it didn’t involve humiliation. (i.e. I really wish that I could always say the right things in class).

I wish it would allow for more family time.

I wish I could live in my own house.

I wish I had no fears as to my suitability for it.

So there it is.

Studenthood. I’m excited to share it with you – I’ll be following its path for a long, long time.


Honesty and Strength

What are these two virtues?

How do they relate?

I know that it takes strength to be honest. Is the relationship reciprocal? Is honesty greater than strength? How have our cultural misconceptions (there are many, cliches in and of themselves) about strength tainted my own thinking?

And then, do I have them?

The cause of my pondering is an e-mail I received today – a sweet note, such a blessing – in which the writer said I did.

Of course, all I could think about were the times that I hadn’t been honest with that writer, and the times in which my honesty was measured, in which I thought, ‘let me be honest with you 75%, so you won’t even suspect that the other 25% exists.’

What weak honesty.

Is that the connection?

Thus begins a resolution, a new commitment to honesty. I want to encourage that little voice in my head that says, “If you take this action, will you be honest about it? Wouldn’t it be better to avoid the choice between mustering strength for shame or deception?”

May my honesty be strong, LORD. First to you.

simplify life by Jamie Marie

Hello world.

It’s been a lovely day in many ways, and since my purpose here is to share how that loveliness speaks to me of God, let’s get going.

I used my voice in my Reason and Religious belief class today. It was ridiculous, really, I knew I knew what the teacher wanted to hear, and even if I didn’t, who cares!, but I finally broke the silence and stated the difference between the arguments and I got it.

One more step on the road out of my worry about not being capable of a philosophy major.

And speaking of philosophy – Socrates!

I’m not sure what to think about the man, whether I should love him, or whether I should be a cynic, but here are my favorite quotes from the 5 Dialogues (most should be recognizable)

“As it is, the lover of inquiry must follow his beloved wherever it may lead him.”

“I prefer nothing, unless it is true.”

(from Euthyphro)

(this one reminds me of Reepicheep in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader)

“To fear death, gentlemen, is no other than to think oneself wise when one is not, to think one knows what one does not know. No one knows whether death may not be the greatest of all blessings for a man, yet men fear it as if thye knew that it is the greatest of evils.”

“… the unexamined life is not worth living for men [or women!]…”

(from Apology)

That’s all for now; more, I’m sure will come.

So, here’s to a good night!

May you and I both examine and pursue truth, albeit the Bible and our reason and the medley of other ways in which it can be glimpsed.